Monday, 24 January 2005

Tim Killed

R* discovered Tim's still little white body in the corner of his cage tonight. His head was splattered with blood and his eye was missing. Gruesome. She was very, very upset so I quickly took away the evidence and cleaned up the scene of the crime.

Gerbil murder is a messy business.

There's only one suspect. His brother Tom. But he's showing no sign of remorse whatsoever. Strange given that they were best mates for three years and always slept in a ball together. However we do suspect there has been some previous domestic violence. We've found Tim bleeding before but thought it might have been self-inflicted.

We're quite perplexed by what Tom's motives were. Living in a small cage is probably enough to make anyone psychopathic but I suspect that they just weren't getting enough food. Tom took matters into his own paws and bumped off the competition. I can see the ruthlessness in his eyes now. Never trust a gerbil.

I hope Tom feels cold tonight. That will make him sorry. We've decided on a garden ceremony and burial tomorrow. I guess I better prepare a eulogy.

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